A Shift of Perspective

What if we had special glasses that could look past what people are saying or how they are behaving and see what is going on inside?  Why are they acting that way?  Why did they say what they said?  Is it because they have not had a meal for a long time?  Are they ill?  Has there been a tragedy in their life?  Are they just having a bad day?  If we knew the why behind the what, would our response and attitude change?

Well, unfortunately we don’t have special glasses like that.  But, we can consider a shift in perspective and giving people the benefit of the doubt.  Rather than saying, “He was wrong and mean and I’ll put him in his place.”  Try, “I wonder what is going on in his life?  Why is he acting out?  I’ll show him some kindness, compassion and patience instead.”  Rather than show the person how wrong they are, smile and give a hug.  Hold your breath and even more important, your tongue.  Better to show empathy than have regret for putting someone in their place.  Even if your kindness isn’t reciprocated, you will feel good about it.  Respond with kindness.

Excuse Maker

Don’t be an excuse maker. Don’t blame your finances, upbringing, heritage, environment, lack of education, your boss, a virus, your parents, the weather – for your failures or limitations.  

You get to choose. You are in control of who you are, what you become and what you accomplish.  You determine if you curl up in a ball and quit. Or, stand up, square your shoulders, and get to it.

Successful people don’t make excuses. They figure out how to get things done despite the challenges and barriers that they face.  Don’t put limits on yourself.  Be creative.  Be proactive, not reactive.  It’s up to you.

Here We Go Again!

Happy New Year!  I really do love the beginning of a New Year.  There seems to be a little more motivation mojo in the air that helps to jumpstart my list of possibilities.  

What is it going to be for you?  What are you going to accomplish this year that you are excited about?  Take a moment and meditate on that for a moment.  Narrow your list down to just a few things that really matter to you and then get to it.

Be intentional.  Be focused on those few things that will make the difference in your life or the life of others.  If you slip up, that is ok.  Tomorrow is another day.  Just make sure that you “get back on the horse” the next day instead of waiting for next year.

What I Learned from Hyrum Smith

It is with sadness that I write today’s blog.  Sadness and gratitude.  I am sad having learned of the passing of Hyrum W. Smith.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to know this great man.  He has had a major impact on my life, both personally and professionally.  He was a mentor and friend.

My first memory of Hyrum Smith is from a set of audio cassettes that accompanied my new Franklin Day Planner system that my Mother purchased for me for my birthday.  I can still see myself sitting on my waterbed at age 22 listening to Hyrum’s voice, teaching me how to gain control over my life, define my values, and set goals.  I was so inspired by his message that I eventually applied for and was hired to work at Franklin International Institute in 1990.

  • I believe Hyrum Smith is the greatest motivational speaker that I have ever seen.  (And I have seen a lot of speakers.)  I saw him speak many times.  He truly inspired me each and every time.  No matter how many times he delivered a speech, he delivered the message with passion.  He believed in what he was teaching and you felt it.

  • Hyrum was generous.  I remember him personally coming into each person’s office or cubicle and handing out bonuses and giving out certificates for a Thanksgiving turkey.  He was the head of the company, yet he would personally visit each employee and express his gratitude.  Years after he and I left the company, I approached Hyrum two different times for endorsements of books that I had co-authored.  He was more than willing to do it and shared his encouragement with me.

  • Hyrum knew the concept of “paying for an employee’s hands but earning an employee’s heart.”  He rallied the company around a mission of helping others and making a difference.  We, as employees, were passionate about that mission and worked hard to accomplish it.  He built a company that is positively unlike any other that I have worked for.   

A few months ago, Hyrum was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer.  I had the incredible opportunity to visit with him and hear him speak two more times after his diagnosis.  He reflected on life and legacy.  Once again, I was inspired.  Let me share of few of his last lessons:

  • I was touched by Hyrum’s courage and declaration of his faith.  He shared his beliefs and that he was excited to be reunited with his family who had proceeded him in death and return to his Father in Heaven.

  • He challenged existing employees of FranklinCovey to not just show up to work but to be excited about the mission.  He said, “When you show up at work you better be showing up because you want to be there, not because you have to be there.  If you are showing up to work because you have to be there, you are in the wrong place.  Go work somewhere else.  Because that is not what we are about. What we are about is helping people become better people.  And I don’t know what greater cause you can be a part of.”

  • Hyrum re-told the story of hearing Winston Churchill speak when Hyrum was a young man.  Churchill, near the end of his life, spoke on how he hoped that he had “made a difference.”  Hyrum at that time felt like a baton had been passed to him and that his mission in life was to “make a difference.”  With a tear in his eye and his voice cracking… Hyrum reflected and said to the audience, “I hope that I have made a difference.”  

I just want to say, Hyrum… you have made a difference.  You have touched many, many, many lives.  You have made a difference in my life and my family’s life.  I hope to take the baton that was passed to you and continue the legacy of “making a difference.”  Thank you Mr. Smith.  Words cannot express…

Having Focus and a “Time for Myself” Routine

Focus and being intentional are key.  Otherwise, life just happens to you.  That is why pushing yourself to do hard things is critical.  Being mindful of what truly matters to you and spending time on those activities is where true happiness and accomplishment come from.  

In the last two blogs I have discussed the importance of focusing on work and your relationships.  The last area is taking care of and focusing some time on yourself.  Of the three areas of your life (relationships, work and self), focus on your “self” is the one area that is usually most neglected.

Consider the following:

  • Sometimes we are so focused on the other areas of our lives that we actually lose ourselves.  Take a moment for reflection on some of the key attributes that you might be neglecting or that are non-existent in your personal life.  It could be areas like your health, entertainment, your faith, talents you want to develop, things that you want to learn or try (bucket list), relationships that you want to nurture, goals that you personally want to accomplish.  Write them down.  Set goals for those areas.

  • We live in the age of the knowledge worker.  A number of us use our brains and our knowledge to make a living.  What are you doing to care for your brain?  Do you even know how to care for your brain?  What are you doing to stretch and exercise your brain?  You need to protect and care for your brain.  Consider researching the work of Dr. Daniel Amen if you want to know more about caring for your brain.

  • How is your diet?  Are you eating healthy?  Are you taking care of yourself?  Are you regularly getting the exercise that you need.  Remember, sitting is the new smoking.  Too much sitting can be harmful to your health.  Be sure to get up and move regularly during the day.  If you work from a desk during the day, consider a standing desk to help you sit less.  A short walk around the building will do wonders.  How about sleep?  Are you getting the 7-8 hours that you need each night?  Be vigilant.  If it were easy, everyone would do it!

  • Self reflection and meditation are key skills for relaxation and ensuring that you are focused on those things that matter most.  Consider 10-15 minutes of mediation every day.  There are “apps for that” if you need help getting started.

  • We are social creatures.  How well are you build and maintain real relationships?  Block out some time to re-connect and hangout with friends.  Throw a party.  Start a book club.  Go out to lunch.  Just go for a walk and talk.

  • How are you continually learning?  Expand your knowledge.  Take an evening or online class.  Block out time to read.  Listen to audiobooks.  Subscribe to a magazine that interests you.  Check to see if you company offers professional development and sign up.  Attend a conference.

  • Take a personal intermission.  It could be 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 4 hours, a day, a week.  Time just for yourself.

  • Plan!  Plan your day.  Plan your week.  Plan your month.  Plan your year.  Plan your life.  Again, be intentional.  What is it that you want to accomplish?  What is it that you want to be known for?  What is it that will bring you personal joy and inner peace?  Write it down!

  • Execute on your plan.  Review your plan regularly.  Daily incorporate some items from your plan.  Block out time.  The plans that are outside of your day-to-day are the hardest to incorporate into your routine.  The magic is making that time a priority.  

This is a long list of things to consider.  It can be overwhelming.  Start by picking one or two things.  Work on them until they are a habits and then add one or two additional things.  It is so important to take time to focus and care for yourself.  You are the only you that you’ve got!