Here is a very simple concept that can have a big impact on your peace of mind and ability to disconnect in the evenings and weekend (it has had a big impact on me.)
I have had the great opportunity to work with and for amazing leaders, co-workers and direct reports. Driven individuals who work very hard and who sometimes see the need or just want to work evenings and weekends. I feel like I am driven and work very hard but I also do my best to, once I leave the office, leave work behind. I especially focus on not checking my work email. In my role, that is not always the best thing when projects and people depend on me. That is where the “communication” part of the strategy comes in. I have made it very clear to my boss, my direct reports and my co-workers that I do not check email in the evening and over the weekend. (I make it clear to my direct reports that I don’t expect them to check their email either.) But, I also let them know that if something urgent comes up that they should text or call me and I will do my best to respond in a timely manner.
As I said, this is simple and not rocket science. But, it does a few very important things. It allows me and those that I work with to disconnect and focus on their other roles and responsibilities outside of work. It also allows those who do want to work in the evenings and weekends to fill up my inbox as they see fit, knowing that I will respond the next business day. Last but not least, it is very clear that if something is urgent, they don’t send me an email that gets buried with all the other “stuff” that comes my way. They text me or they call me so that I can respond and address the issue.
You will be surprised to see the respect and boundaries that this little strategy creates and how few times something is truly urgent that requires a text or phone call. The final step to this strategy is that I turn off my email notifications so my evenings and weekend are not constantly interrupted by the incoming, never ending, deluge of email (I get a lot of email and I bet you do too). There is a large amount of peace that occurs knowing that it is OK to disconnect and that if something is time sensitive, I will be notified. Set boundaries, communicate those boundaries and turn off your notifications.
Time for an Intermission
In our book, Juggling Elephants, Jones Loflin and I talk about the importance of taking an intermission. Intermission is a chance for time away from the day to day. It is an opportunity to prepare for the next act. It is a time to reconnect with those you have been too busy to share your time with. What kind of intermission do you need right now?
15 minutes to clear your head, walk around the block, get some fresh air, and keep the blood pumping.
30 minutes to close your eyes and nap in the middle of a very full day of meetings.
An evening to go to dinner, or a movie, or a walk. Just the two of you.
A day off to work in your yard and clear out some flowerbeds - physical work rather than your usual mental work.
A long weekend away. Solitude. A chance to read, think, plan, re-evaluate, set goals, sleep, relax, clear your head, walk, pray, listen, stretch, eat, be.
A week of vacation with friends and family. A chance to make new connections, see new places and to remember why you work so hard.
Intermissions come in all shapes and sizes and should have different goals and intended outcomes. Plan them out. Block them out in your calendar. Look forward to them. Be spontaneous and take an “unplanned intermission” when you feel you really need one or when you feel like you don’t need one. You will come out relaxed, replenished and renewed.
Don't Worry
I woke up this morning to the Bob Marley song, “Don’t Worry About a Thing”. Pretty simple lyrics repeated over and over. The essence of the song, “Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”
What are you worried about? Is your worry pushing you to do something or are you paralyzed as a result and afraid to move forward? Are you using the initial concern to move you forward, to do something about the worry, to step out of yourself and do something positive? Again, I like Bob’s attitude. Every little thing gonna be all right. It usually is. Things work out.
One of our favorite quotes in our home is, “Crisis + Time = Humor”. Worry can be a waste. Or, it can be a motivator to laugh and then achieve something new and powerful. Maybe the first thing you should do is stop worrying?
Meetings with Purpose
Do you find yourself in recurring meetings that turn into the same ineffective meeting over and over and over where little is accomplished or decided? You discuss the same topics, you rehash the same issues and then nothing is resolved, launched or progressed because you were inefficient and ran out of time. So, the next meeting you try to remember what was discussed in the previous meeting, rehash the same information and try to come up with a solution again and again and again.
Don’t hold meetings just to hold them. Make sure that they have purpose, an agenda and desired outcomes. Also be sure to leave the meeting with those outcomes or decisions documented.
Unproductive meetings are a huge time waster. Having a purpose and working to achieve desired outcomes in a meeting can be an efficient tool – when done correctly. Next time you have a meeting, at the conclusion ask, “What did we accomplish?” If no one can answer the question, then you have some work to do.
Dreaming
Instead of counting sheep to help me go to sleep at night, I like to daydream (night dream?). It has been an effective way for me to forget the reality of life, calm my brain and help me sleep. Call it a different type of meditation. These daydreams are frivolous and far fetched. Very little reality involved. Candy for my brain.
What kind of dreaming do you do? Is it all brain candy? Or, do you also do some deliberate dreaming? Do you take the time to dream about what you want to do? What you want to be? What you want to accomplish? I talk a lot about being intentional and feel that we also need to be intentional with our dreams. Take some time to ponder what you want to achieve. Write it down. Sketch it out. Create a collage of pictures to visualize it. Tweak it. Arrange it. But then get to work on it.
I just returned from a wonderful intermission (vacation) with my fabulous wife. It was a great time to catch up and spend some time together walking and talking. We took some time to dream about the next 10 years of our life and what we want to do. It takes time to do this. We came up with several drafts. We started over a few times. We rearranged it and are close to agreeing on it. Once we agree on it, the fun begins as we work on it. Our planning included work, our changing family, vacations, major purchases, home renovation, savings, and working towards retirement. These were topics important to us. It took a chunk of time just coming up with the topics. Then we discussed scenarios. It was so helpful just to talk and hear each other’s perspectives. (As a side, perspectives change over time and you might be surprised to find your significant other’s views have changed since you last spoke.)
Take the time to dream. Personally, with your partner, with your family, direct reports, boss, etc. Dreams can and should turn into reality. They should turn into goals and daily tasks. Dreams shouldn’t be something that just help you get to sleep.